Category: Laos

Rough day again today. Starting in Pak Beng I left around 11 am. I’m not sure why I keep starting so late, I think I just BS around before breakfast.

Anyways, as I got near Muang Xai I pulled off to the side of the road once to relax a little bit. There were some old abandoned selling booths for fruits or market days or something and I lay down on one and tried to relax a little.

Within a minute I heard a motorbike and looked up to see some dude on his motorbike. I thought it was just a guy dying to practice some English so I was a little excited at first. We were talking about what I was doing here and where I was driving. When we hit the end of the road of his English he asked “if I want to” and then made a blowjob symbol. I was blown away. Not in a million years would I have guessed that was coming. I laughed and said no and lay back down. Then he kept asking me and would say, “sir,” “just a little,” “you’re handsome.” I got angry and yelled no and pointed at the road. When he still wouldn’t leave I stood up holding the helmet aggressively and started walking towards my machete.. I thought I had heard him say something when he was driving up the little hill and I was suddenly worried there was someone else and I was about to get nabbed. He finally jumped on his motorbike as I grabbed the machete.

I rode off too and kept watching my back as I made the long ride. I messaged my visa letter guy about trying to get a visa on arrival when I got to the border with Vietnam and thank god that I did because he warned me that that was not possible. This was a huge hit to my journey. I realized that instead of going straight and into Vietnam tomorrow morning I would have to drive all the way to Luang Prabang again to get a visa at the consulate. This is about a 200km drive out of the way.

Instead of thinking too hard about it I just started driving as apparently the best time to go is Monday morning and it was Saturday night. I had remembered a guesthouse that actually had wifi and seemed nice on my way up from Luang Prabang so I set my sights on that. After driving in the pitch black for 2 hours and eating 10000 flies I finally made it. I am here now and it looks as if they had a wedding here today which is kind of nice. I’m 1.5 hours out of Luang Prabang. I want to get there before the consulate opens at 8am so I guess I will leave here around 530 to be sure. If all goes smoothly I can ride a lot tomorrow and maybe take a break near the border of Vietnam!

Today was the absolute worst day of driving. The decision to drive through the boonies was a terrible one for my body and the bike. The road conditions could not have been shittier. It started okay, got worse, then got worse, then got more worser. From driving on some shit roads before I was terrified the bike would not make it. At one point she ran dry of oil and I could hear the valve tapping metal on metal, heat radiating on my shins and ankles, the burning oil smoke wafting into my face.

I had a quarter of a quart of oil left, put that in and that stopped the noise until I could find a little shack where I saw a full quart of oil. I was so far in the boonies that few people were wearing clothes. The naked attendant dude came up to me and it took about 10 minutes and the entire village showing up for me to sign language him into understanding that I needed some oil.

I threw the whole thing in. As I got deeper into nowhere the people became veryyyyyyy different. They were extremely friendly in the villages but they looked at me like I was an alien. I’m probably one of the very few white people that drove that road in history. Much of the road was being used my enormous Chinese trucks that threw fine dust into the air that settled inches thick where it fell. My whole body was covered in dust and as the day went on it was more and more uncomfortable. Everything itched, stung, and hurt. 

I’m not sure how nothing went wrong during the trip but as it got dark I was still about 2 hours from the main road and the driving got so steep downhill and so difficult. Enormous rocks in the road everywhere. The road just fell off of cliffs in some areas and sunk and spun in every direction.

At the very top though I saw some of the greatest views of my life. These villages were built along the spines of some enormous mountains that looked down on vast ranges. 

I screamed out in joy when I finally found the main road. Driving has never felt so easy than those ten minutes driving to find a guesthouse in the pitch black. The stars shined so bright above me. I drove to Pak Beng and found a guesthouse with hot water for 70,000. The guy immediately tried to sell me weed. I walked around the town just a little. There were a few “happy” bars. I stopped at the indian food place, checked out a bar but going by yourself sucks so I left after a few minutes, sat down at a bar and my eyes immediately began to close. So I walked back to the guesthouse for some much needed rest.

I started the day in Luang Namtha. It’s a real shit town where there seems to be some kind of prostitution ring based off of the noises I heard outside and the characters I saw going in and out of the hotel. I stopped at the local market which was surprisingly big for there being so few people around. I got some noodles, fruits, and this sack of juice I hadn’t seen before but they were everywhere so I figured I had to try it. It seemed to be filled with boba-type items inside.

I saw a few monks riding around on scooters which I hadn’t seen before. Then I was off! I got a late start to the day as I was exhausted from the late night the night before. It was for sure the single best day of driving so far. The road was smooth and mostly flat and the views were spectacular. There were no points that were too remote where I couldn’t find gas. 

Trying to cross the border into Thailand: I made amazing time and got to the border around 4pm. I was very excited and was desperately hoping there would not be any issues crossing. I drove up, parked the bike where the guy pointed and then walked up to the first booth. The guy could actually speak a little bit of English and took my passport. He pointed to the bike and I tried to explain that I wanted to bring it with me. He told me I could not take a Vietnamese or Chinese bike with me into Thailand. I tried to argue with him and make sure it was true. He called someone on the Thai side who told me the same thing. I walked around to almost every other booth and they all pointed me to the first guy again. So I just sat there eating fruits for a long time. He called the guy again and I talked with him for a while. He said he wasn’t able to produce the rule so I kept just waiting hoping they would let me in. It didn’t really matter, the guy wouldn’t budge.

Apparently they allow some caravans of motorcycles through sometimes but that sounds expensive and like it would have to be put together by some kind of local travel agency. I gave up and formulated a new plan. I would stay in Laos longer, then maybe hop over to Northern Vietnam, explore a little there, then meet up with Steff in the Philippines a little bit earlier than planned on the 25th. 

It was late by the time I left the border so I found a dorm in the town nearby. I think it’s called Huay Xai and it’s full of French people. The attraction there is some 2 day “Gibbon Experience.” But it cost $190 apparently and I didn’t have the time. Some girl was crying in the lobby because she thought she had rabies. Yikes…

I planned my route for the next day and I decided I would drive through the Boonies to avoid driving the same road twice. Little did I know what this decision would cost me…